You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
