she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
