is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
