why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
