I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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