Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
