You're so nebulous sometimes
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
