I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
