i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
