You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
