I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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