i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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