Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
