Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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