SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
