Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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