It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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