pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
