I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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