Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need a beard to bite.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
