Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize