Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
