how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
