he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize