I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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