Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize