I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
