He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
