i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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