I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
