Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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