3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
