last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
