new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please come you make the beer taste better
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
