I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
