Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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