i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
