Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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