We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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