if you like me you must not know who I am
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
