Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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