it wasn't lemon gatorade
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
