Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
