suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
