OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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