Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
