Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize