i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
