I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this boner is exhausting
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
