i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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