I wanna passion pit in your ass
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize