his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
