We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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