I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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