i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
