you guys were way drunker than both of me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
