In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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