Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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