I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
where are you?
Hypothermia
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
